Book Review

West Ham Fans' Dream Team

With my thoughts turned to Dream Teams this week, I suddenly remembered that I had a copy of ‘The Official West Ham United Dream Team’ sitting in my bookcase.

Written in 2003 by Adam Ward and Dave Smith, this book is a consensus on the greatest West Ham United XI based on a survey of West Ham United supporters. Adverts appeared in match day programmes and on the Club’s website asking fans to select their dream team in a 4-4-2 formation, with voting restricted to players from the modern era. The authors felt that it would be difficult to include stars from bygone days, such as Vic Watson, Syd Puddefoot and Jimmy Ruffell, as they were in the living memory of so few people; which would mean that their selection would probably be based on reputation and second-hand opinion.

Hundreds of fans responded, maybe you were in that number, and the results were compiled into this volume of facts and figures on West Ham’s greatest XI players in modern football. The book also includes interviews with some of the chosen players and their colleagues.

In his introduction to the book Ward said:

“One particularly interesting feature of the voting was that, unlike several of the other big clubs who have recently carried out similar polls to find their greatest XI, Hammers fans were not preoccupied with current stars. Several players who played in the 1957-58 promotion season received a significant number of votes, which proves that West Ham United supporters are rather more knowledgeable than rival supporters are about their favoured team.”

Billy Bonds was invited to write the foreword to the book and his words from 2003 make it clear that he holds West Ham supporters in the highest regard:

“….. I have the greatest respect for Hammers supporters. The Upton Park crowd has always been fair … even if the Chicken Run rarely gave a player a second chance. But, above all else, Hammers fans know their football. They know how they like the game to be played and they know a good player when they see one, as has been shown by the results of the poll for this book.”

His contribution also includes his personal opinion on each of the players chosen by the fans for this particular Dream Team and he had this to say on their choices:

“I would be lying if I said I agreed with every one of the selections, but they are all great players … though, of course, I can’t really give a fair judgement on the number 4!”

As I’ll be attending the Hammers Heroes Dream Team event on Thursday this week I thought it would be interesting to compare the West Ham fans’ choices of 2003 with the selection made by an expert panel of West Ham stars in 2014. Let’s see whether Billy Bonds, Sir Trevor Brooking, Alan Devonshire, Julian Dicks, Tony Cottee, Phil Parkes, Brian Dear and Tony Gale agree with the fans’ Dream Team and also whether any players from the intervening decade have made their selection grade. Watch this space for the outcome of their deliberations.

And what about you? Do you agree with the players chosen by West Ham supporters just over ten years ago and would you replace any of them with players who have graced the pitch at Upton Park since then?

One of the things that I’m looking forward to on Thursday night is hearing first-hand the views and anecdotes of the panel on their West Ham Dream Team. Listening to players recount their experiences of their heydays brings memories to life in a way that the written word simply can’t. For those of you who don’t have a ticket (cough) I’ll leave you with Billy Bond’s personal thoughts on each of the players chosen by the fans a decade ago:

1. Phil Parkes
‘One of the all time greats for me. I’ve always said I’d put him in the top five goalkeepers I’ve ever seen play. He’s up there with the likes of Shilton, Banks, Clemence and Schmeichel. He was also a smashing fella, a really likeable man who didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Ernie Gregory would call one or two of us over after training to give Phil a bit of extra practice – shooting or crossing – and, when he was trying, you just couldn’t beat him. I don’t know how he’d have handled the back-pass rule with his dodgy knees but there’s no doubt he was a tremendous keeper.’

2. Ray Stewart
‘Ray was a terrific player and of course everybody remembers him for his penalties. But he was also a really solid defender; he was agile and quick, good on the ball with a ferocious shot and he was tough. Ray was everything you’d want in a right-back; he got forward well and he was strong defensively. He could also play at centre-back and made his debut in midfield, so he was versatile too.’

3. Julian Dicks
‘Julian was a player with whom I didn’t always see eye-to-eye when I was a manager, and we had our run-ins. He could be ill disciplined at times, but the crowd loved him because he always gave 100 per cent. He also had a fantastic left foot. It would be a close one between him and Frank Lampard, although Julian would probably shade it. Dicksy had the ability to get England caps but it’s probably fair to say that his reputation went before him a little bit.’

4. Billy Bonds
‘I didn’t really care where I played … midfield or right-back. Centre-half was probably my least favourite position, because you were a little bit out of the action there and you have to be more disciplined. I went on for so long that a lot of people do still remember me as an old centre-half, an old war-horse if you like. But I think my best days were in midfield. It was my sort of role, I could roll my sleeves up and get stuck in and get forward, scoring my few goals as well. Of course I got tagged a bit, as a hard man, a ball winner, captain fantastic, and all that, but John Lyall must have thought I could play a bit too, otherwise I wouldn’t have been in West Ham’s midfield alongside Brooking and Devonshire.’

5. Alvin Martin
‘I remember Alvin when he came into the side; a cocky little Liverpudlian with his long legs like Bambi. When I say cocky, I mean cocky on the ball; he’d want to dribble past people all the time. Sometimes he would take liberties and get caught out, and he got quite a few ruckings in the early days. But he took the lessons on board and listened to the advice; I shook my fist at him a few times too, but the penny dropped and he became a great centre-half. He and Moore were both very comfortable on the ball. One thing about Alvin, though, is that I never played with or against a better header of the ball. When I had him as a manager he was in his mid-30s, but there’s no substitute for quality and experience, and that’s what he gave us. He was a terrific reader of the game and still excellent in the air.’

6. Bobby Moore
‘They use the word superstar too easily nowadays, but he was the genuine article. Bobby Moore was definitely a superstar both on and off the pitch. He was somebody you just looked up to: he wasn’t a great talker on the pitch, that wasn’t his way. Everybody simply respected him, and there was an aura about him, no doubt about it. Everything he did on the pitch was quality and he was a really nice, down-to-earth bloke off the pitch. For me, personally, as I say, I was always in awe of him, and when he left I took over as captain and his boots were big ones to fill. It’s a pleasure to be able to say that I played alongside him.’

7. Martin Peters
‘I remember speaking to Ronnie Boyce about the three World Cup winners and Ronnie – who of course grew up alongside them – said that Martin was the most gifted of the three when they were kids. He obviously made his name as an attacking midfielder, ghosting into the box, and he scored a phenomenal number of goals. He was superb in the air, a great passer of the ball and a great taker of chances. He had fantastic ability and he could play anywhere.’

8. Trevor Brooking
‘The first thing you have to say about Trevor is that he’s a gentleman. He was my roommate and my best mate at the club and somebody I could always trust implicitly. He’d help anybody and he’s been a smashing ambassador for the game. He’s also one of the greatest midfield player’s this country’s ever had. He was a great crosser of the ball, he had two good feet, but his greatest skill was that he could beat people. They talk about his lack of pace, but when you could beat people as easily as he could, you don’t always need it.’

9. Geoff Hurst
‘I wasn’t at the club at the time, but I understand that Geoff had been a midfielder and hadn’t been anything special in his early days. But Ron Greenwood put him up front and the rest is history. He was a big strong targetman who was good at holding the ball up and who had a great touch but he was also an excellent goalscorer. He had a powerful shot and was a fine header of the ball. I’d liken him a bit to Mark Hughes, who was another player who was extremely good with his back to goal.’

10. Paolo Di Canio
‘His ability on the ball is unquestionable but he’s not really an out-and-out centre-forward. In a team that’s already got Brooking and Devonshire in it – players who like to drop deep, pick up the ball and run at people, I would have preferred to have had a genuine striker like Bryan “Pop” Robson. In my ideal team Bryan would have been perfect to play off Geoff Hurst. My big question mark about Paolo is whether he’d let you down. I have to be honest, I don’t think he’s a team player. Having said that, he’s a smashing talent and I can see why the crowd love him. He’s an entertainer, he gets you out of your seat and does things that other players couldn’t even dream of.’

11. Alan Devonshire
‘Dev came from non-League football, and I remember him turning up for training and there was nothing of him, he never carried a lot of weight, and we thought “blimey, this kid needs a good dinner!”. We wondered if he’d get bullied and whether he’d withstand the physical side of things, but what a good player he was. Frank Lampard appreciated him too, he worked up and down the line and never went missing, always did his job defensively. But the real strength of Dev was his ability to go past people. He’d take the ball right up to defenders and just when you thought he was going to get it nicked off him, he had that yard of pace to take it away from them.’


Your chance to see Hammers Heroes select their West Ham Dream Team

So who would you pick to be in your West Ham Dream Team from players of the past 50 years?

On Thursday 11th September an expert panel comprising Billy Bonds, Sir Trevor Brooking, Alan Devonshire, Julian Dicks, Tony Cottee, Phil Parkes, Brian Dear and host Tony Gale (panel subject to availability) will gather on stage at the Cliffs Pavilion in Southend to deliberate over West Ham’s best line-up from the days when Bobby Moore led the team to FA Cup glory in 1964 until the present day.

When I saw this advertised and learned that it was going to be the final ‘Hammers Heroes’ show at the Cliffs I snapped up 4 front row tickets some time ago. Unfortunately, I’ve just found out that both Mr Lids and my friend aren’t going to be able to go on Thursday so I have two front row seats going begging.

I was sitting here feeling a bit dejected and making a note to change my deodorant when I had a brainwave, maybe I could turn my disappointment into something positive by using the tickets to raise some more funds for West Ham Ladies? Having had a quick look online it looks like there are still a few seats available but the front stalls have sold out and there are only a few restricted viewing seats left elsewhere.

So, here’s your chance to sit within spitting distance (that’s a turn of phrase, not a suggestion btw) of a panel of some of West Ham’s all-time greats as they discuss who they would select for their Hammers Dream Team of the last 50 years this Thursday. I will bear the face value cost of the tickets because that’s money that has already been spent but I am inviting WHTID readers to place bids starting at £24.50 for each ticket (the face value) for the opportunity to sit in the front row of this almost sold out event. The two winning bidders will have to pay all of their pledge to the West Ham Ladies fund raising page under their WHTID user names and I will meet them to hand over their tickets in the bar at the Cliffs before the show this Thursday 11th September. I anticipate that the two tickets will be won by separate bidders but if you’d like to win the pair then I suggest you wait until near the end of the auction and then bid more than the two highest bids combined.

Having been to about 8 or 9 of these shows in the past I can confirm that it’s a great night out and that Tony Gale is a very funny host. I’ve been lucky enough to see Sir Trev and Billy on stage together once before and because the format of the show is so relaxed it’s like listening to them have a chat about the good old days over a pint down the pub.

It really is a must for Hammers fans and is sure to be a great evening of nostalgia in the company of some of the greatest players to wear the claret & blue. As I mentioned above, this is scheduled to be the last ‘Hammers Heroes’ football show at The Cliff’s and therefore a final opportunity to see some of these true West Ham United legends on this stage.

To give everyone an opportunity to bid, the auction will close at 8:00pm on Wednesday 10th September. Even if I only manage to attract bids for the face value of the tickets that will still be another fifty quid in their bin and another claret and blue shirt on the back of a West Ham Ladies footballer.

The only downside to this is that you’ll have to sit next to me and Safehands; but we promise to stay ‘on topic’ and to not talk about cake for the whole evening! ;)

Please save me from looking like Billy No Mates and help to raise funds for a very good cause by placing your bid now!


West Ham Women

Have West Ham Ladies Been Left Out in the Cold?

Last night I attended my first West Ham United Ladies football match as they took on Tottenham Hotspur Ladies underneath the floodlights of Mill Field in Aveley. It also happened to be their first home game with Julian Dicks in charge since he took over as First Team Manager 12 weeks ago.

When we arrived the Ladies’ teams were warming up on the pitch and the WHL junior squad were also demonstrating some of their skills in the corner of the field. The first thing that struck me was the buoyancy of the supporting crowd; music was playing, there were strains of ‘Bubbles’ and shouts of ‘Irons!’ from all directions and the sense of anticipation and good humour was tangible. In fact the crowd of 150 – 200 fans were creating more atmosphere than I often experience in my seat in the West Stand at Upton Park. I was pleased to see that Tommy Wathen from Tommy Wathen TV and Martin Green from West Ham TV were there to record the proceedings but I hoped that it was the growing rise in popularity of women’s football that was the focus rather than a Julian Dicks shaped publicity opportunity for the men’s team.

As kick off approached it was very humbling to see Julian Dicks going around collecting all the warm-up tops, cones and practise balls himself. He even took 5 minutes out to play a gentle game of passing with a tiny pitch invader dressed in a claret shirt; no doubt the next generation to have the Hammers etched on his heart.

Julian Dicks encouraging grass roots football

As the game got underway the next thing I noticed was the inadequacy of the facilities. The lines on the pitch were barely visible, making the officials job a difficult one, and the edge of the pitch is so close to the surrounding fences that I lost count of the number of times a new ball had to be introduced. Collecting wayward balls seems to be a full time job for the assistant coach and it must cost the team a small fortune in lost balls alone! During the first half I was slightly distracted by the industriousness of the junior squad; lots of little girls running around in full kit with collection buckets and raffle tickets, trying to raise the much needed funds to keep the team afloat.

By half time we were 0-2 down with Spurs Ladies looking the stronger and more organised team. We did show glimpses of potential however, with some very skilful touches, particularly from captain and midfielder Stacey Little and forward Kelley Blanchflower. Our keeper Nikita Runnacles also made a cracking save just before the whistle, only for us to concede a couple of minutes later. Throughout all of this the crowd had kept up the atmosphere with cheering, shouts of encouragement and an indefatigable round of ‘Bubbles’ lead by a troop of little girls in Hammers kits sitting in the stand.

The Terminator made a couple of subs and we came out fighting for the second half and looked like a different team. We managed to pull it back to 1-2 with a goal from midfielder Sarah McCrae and again Nikita Runnacles prevented a bigger goal difference with a save that Adrian would have been proud of but unfortunately it wasn’t enough and the game ended at 1-2 to the Spuds.

Julian and star goalkeeper Nikita Runnacles

No doubt Julian Dicks was disappointed to have lost his first home game but it was clear that West Ham Ladies have lots of potential and passion. What they need now is investment. If they are ever to reach the level of the Women’s Super League to which they aspire they are going to need money and resources. Having thoroughly enjoyed my first experience of live ladies’ football I came home inspired to learn more about the history of the Women’s Super League and the teams in it.

Top of the league are Chelsea Ladies FC, no surprise there; no doubt they have a bottomless pit of money to spend on resources and development. They have their own section on the Chelsea FC website where they are described as “… a fully integrated female club with performance-based and developmental objectives.” It goes on to say that “The Ladies club, a constituent part of the comprehensive Community Development Programme at Chelsea, is committed to producing a first team capable of finishing in the Country’s top four sides.” A quick glance at the mind-blowing Chelsea Football Club’s Girls’ Centre of Excellence shows that the club certainly put their money where their mouth is. So far, so predictable.

Chelsea FCs Girl's Centre of Excellence

Second in the WSL and slightly more intriguing, are Birmingham City Ladies and the background to their success story proved to be very interesting to somebody concerned with West Ham Ladies current situation. After a brief outline of their early years their Club History page goes on to say this:

“The Club ran into difficult times during the 90’s, with many staff and player changes. As a result it created an academy of young players to try to regain stability. Many eventually played for the senior team.

In 1998 Birmingham City Ladies was promoted to the newly created Midland Combination League and in their first season won the league, thus gaining automatic promotion into the National Northern Division. After two seasons, Birmingham Ladies gained promotion to the top flight of women’s football, joining the FA Women’s Premier League. The academy had begun to produce players for the first team at this point, and Laura Bassett became the first Birmingham City Ladies player, from the academy or otherwise, to appear for England at full international level.

The club’s high-profile manager of the time, Marcus Bignot, signed big name players including Rachel Yankey and Alex Scott for the 2004/05 season and Birmingham finished fourth. The club ran into financial problems when Birmingham City withdrew its support, and had to let major players go before the start of the 2005/06 season, which they finished in sixth position. The Club was only able to continue after a player’s parent donated £10,000.

Also in 2005, the Club’s junior sides joined the newly-formed Centre of Excellence league in the Central Warwickshire area. Birmingham won their eighth consecutive Birmingham FA County Cup in 2008 before a number of established players either retired from the game or moved on to other clubs.

They began to rebuild and finished 2008–09 in fifth place (losing out on fourth place only through inferior goal difference) and have left Redditch United for a new stadium at Stratford upon Avon.

In March 2010 the Club was announced as a founder member of the FA WSL. The Club’s successful application was underwritten by Birmingham City’s owner Carson Yeung.”

So, despite their great achievements and high profile at the beginning of this century, Birmingham City’s owners took the decision in 2005 to pull the plug on the women’s funding and they only survived because they were bailed out by a player’s parent to the tune of £10,000. Well they didn’t just survive; they went on to become founding members of the WSL and are now contenders for the title. No thanks to Birmingham City’s owners. Remind me again who they were?

A quick glance at the other two teams in the top four of the Women’s Super League reveals that Liverpool Ladies and Arsenal Ladies FC are also fully integrated with the men’s teams with resources and support that our girls in claret and blue can only dream of.

Which brings me full circle back to the fund raising appeal set up by West Ham Ladies captain Stacey Little this week; as outlined in Tommy Wathen’s article on WHTID:

“The Ladies side are a totally self-funded team that play in the FA Women’s Premier League Southern Division and various cup competitions. All the current players and staff, including first team manager Julian Dicks, are all completely voluntary and take no payment for their services.

All the players have recently been asked for a generous donation towards the running costs of the club (kit, pitch fees, equipment costs), but are also asking whether fans would like to help support the women’s club by making a small donation.”

At the time of writing Stacey’s appeal has raised £1,160, with donations by 57 people in 2 days. They have a long way to go before they reach their target of £10,000. Never mind, their raffle last night raised £40, so hopefully they’ll get there before the club has to fold.

Stacey Little - WHL Captain & Fundraiser

News of WHL’s plight reached the mainstream media yesterday and an article highlighting their fundraising appeal appeared on the Guardian website. By lunchtime yesterday it had disappeared with the advice that it had been “removed pending investigation” in its place. This morning I followed a link that was posted yesterday and which said it would take me to a news item on the West Ham website about Julian Dicks’ debut as the voluntary manager of West Ham Ladies. Strangely this had also disappeared. Clearly something is afoot.

When I made my donation to the WHL fundraising appeal yesterday I challenged West Ham United FC to match the amount raised and also to provide regular financial support to West Ham Ladies and I added the hashtag #westhamfamily. I reiterate that challenge now and I hope that David Gold, David Sullivan and Karren Brady agree that West Ham United Ladies deserve the same support that the women’s factions of the big London clubs enjoy and that they should ultimately become fully integrated with the men’s side. After all, don’t we aspire to be one of the big London clubs one day too? To be fair to the club they do currently provide a training pitch twice a week.

Without significant investment and support West Ham Ladies won’t even survive, let alone have a chance to reach the Women’s Super League. With every unfunded day that passes the gulf between them and the women’s teams in the WSL grows wider and wider. They need investment and they need it now.

I have no affiliation with the West Ham Ladies team whatsoever; I’ve never even met any of the players or their families. I’m just a football fan who wants to see the women’s team of the club I have supported my whole life get the chance to play on a level field.

If you would like to make a donation to the WHL fund you can find a link to their donation page here. I also noticed in last night’s programme that there are player sponsorship opportunities. The only girl sponsored at the moment is Lindsey Morgan who is being supported by Scandinavian Hammers and DB Autos. If you are interested in sponsoring a player or a match day please email

Book Review


As a confirmed bibliophile one of my hobbies is buying and selling antique and collectible books and I like nothing more than truffling among the dusty shelves of a second hand bookshop or charity shop in the hope of unearthing some literary gem. It was while I was engaged in this activity a few months back that I chanced upon a 1966 first edition copy of Bobby Moore’s ‘My Soccer Story’. My heart skipped a beat as I excitedly checked the title page for our hero’s elusive signature. Sadly the page was unmarked but as I handed over my pound coin I knew that I’d found myself a bargain. Back at home I examined my treasure more carefully and apart from a missing dust jacket, it proved to be in mint condition. Although I had no intention of selling it on I was gratified to discover that in today’s market a first edition copy of Bobby’s words in this condition was worth in the region of £45. A 4400% profit! Not bad for a couple of hours of pottering but ironically still not enough to buy a cheap seat for a Category A match at Upton Park today.

Since then Bobby’s autobiography has been nestling in my bookcase in the claret and blue company of Billy Bonds, Geoff Hurst, John Lyall, Harry Redknapp, Tony Cottee and Paolo Di Canio; but I have a confession to make …. I haven’t read it. Last year I also bought Billy Bonds’ autobiography ‘Bonzo’ but about two chapters in my head began to nod, not because I wasn’t interested in the details of Billy’s life and career but because the writing style was so …well … boring. A quick flick through Sir Bobby’s book unfortunately revealed that his writing style was only marginally less ponderous and so there it languishes, in the relegation zone of my ever growing ‘to read’ pile.

As an amateur writer myself I realise that I’m in danger of scoring an own goal here, but it’s clear that just because a footballer is good enough for the Premiership it doesn’t mean that his skills are necessarily transferable to penmanship. Surely there must be some footballers whose writing is as fluid as their dribbling? I decided to find out …..

Albert Camus, is perhaps the most famous literary footballer, with his quote “All that I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football” gracing T-shirts on terraces across the land. However, it seems that the story about him playing in goal for Algeria’s national team in the 1930s or the suggestion that he even played professionally might be apocryphal. What is certain is that he loved the game and played in goal for Racing Universitaire d’Alger until tuberculosis sadly put paid to his footballing career when he was 18. The same applies to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, who served his time between the sticks for amateur side Portsmouth Association FC in the late 1800s.

For some reason, there appears to have been a disproportionate number of goalie writers. Like writing, goalkeeping is a solitary business and perhaps that is why so many writers who played football chose the loneliness of the green shirt.

Vladimir Nabokov, the author of the controversial novel ‘Lolita’, was an ardent keeper in his youth, and in his autobiographical memoir ‘Speak, Memory’ he wrote: "I was less the keeper of a soccer goal than the keeper of a secret.” Another amateur keeper was Argentinian revolutionary and writer Che Guevara, who penned ‘The Motorcycle Diaries’. His ambitions to play as a forward were thwarted by asthma but kicking his heels in the goal mouth probably gave him the time to come up with lines like this “It is not just a simple game. It is a weapon of the revolution.” Even James Joyce was goalkeeper for a small team in rural Inniskeen, albeit as a Gaelic Footballer rather than in the Association game.

In more recent times, but less auspiciously, we have David Icke who had a youth career at Coventry City and made 37 professional appearances as a goalkeeper for Hereford United, which he said “suited the loner in him and gave him a sense of living on the edge between hero and villain.” Since retiring from professional football Icke has attracted ridicule for his thesis about giant lizards living in caverns at the centre of the earth. Sadly, it was intended to be non-fiction. So far he has written 16 books, mostly about the Illuminati, 9/11 and so-called mass mind manipulation.

For notable authors outside of the goalie’s area we must look to Barry Hines, the author of the classic ‘A Kestrel for A Knave’, perhaps better known as the Ken Loach film ‘Kes’. Mr Hines was skilled with both the pen and the ball and he played football for the England Grammar School team and, briefly, for his beloved Barnsley FC.

Then we come to the professional footballers whose literary aspirations ended up in the bargain bin, as much for being badly written as for being too much about football. While still playing for QPR Terry Venables once co-wrote a book called ‘They Used To Play On Grass’, the blurb of which reads: “In this story, manager John Gallagher is rocked by a fresh threat to his dream, three days before one of the biggest matches in soccer history.” Sounds about as thrilling as some of the football we witnessed at West Ham last year.

Possibly the most interesting thing about the novel ‘The Ball Game’ is the cover; which features a naked lady with one foot on a football, brandishing a submachine gun and nothing but a strategically draped ‘Miss America’ sash to preserve her modesty. Co-written by Jimmy Greaves in the 1980s, it follows the adventures of “cockney striker Jackie Groves” who clearly had some rather unusual defending to deal with before he could score against that particular lady. Centre Backs with machine guns ….. now there’s a novel idea.

As unlikely as it may seem, Steve Bruce also wrote a trilogy of football books while managing Huddersfield Town. Entitled ‘Defender!’, ‘Striker!’ and ‘Sweeper!’. The protagonist is none other than ‘Steve Barnes’, manager of the fictional ‘Leddersfield Town’. Where did he get his ideas? Unfortunately, the books were awash with grammatical errors, inconsistent character names, bizarre plots and terrible prose and Bruce himself has described them as "the biggest load of crap ever written.” How refreshing, a football manager who recognises his own shortcomings.

A few professional footballers have made the foray into children’s literature, including Frank Lampard, Theo Walcott and David Beckham. Beckham’s contribution to the English literary canon is ‘Charlie Barker and the Secret of the Deep Dark Woods’, which seems to have been published with very little fanfare. Maybe he needs to find himself a publisher who takes a more aggressive approach to publicity.

Frank Lampard has also got in on the act and has written a series of children’s books called Frankie’s Magic Football. The books follow the adventures of a school boy called Frankie, his football-loving friends, and his pet dog Max. Frank has said “the characters are loosely based on friends and team-mates I’ve played with over the years.” I’m betting Wayne Bridge has kept Frankie Sandford well away from the ‘The Mummy’s Menace’ since she gave birth last year.

Frank’s books have been very well received and I’m sure that he’s as pleased with them as Arsenal’s Theo Walcott was with his children’s book, ‘TJ and the Hat-Trick’, which he declared to be his favourite book when asked in a survey.

A few footballers have put pen to paper outside the genre of literature to write cookery books and travel guides; including Francesco Totti who has written his own tourists’ guide entitled ‘E Mo Te Spiego Roma’/’Let’s Talk About Rome’. His effort to educate his foreign teammates about the beauty of the Eternal City through his own eyes is said to be full of irony and humour and might be worth a read in preparation for the day that we finally make it into Europe. Mind you, looking at the cover it might be prudent to ask for a plain paper wrapping … unless of course that’s your usual type of ‘Totti’.

Apparently Pepe Mel has written a mystery novel called ‘The Liar’ which has been reviewed as ‘Lovejoy’ meets ‘The Da Vinci Code’ and is the tale of an antiques dealer who clashes with The Vatican in his quest to retrieve stolen religious manuscripts. He’s not the only football manager to pen a mystery; you only have to look at Big Sam’s team sheets every week to find another. Maybe this will be the season that he’ll finally write us a thriller and West Ham will perversely start to move down the ‘best seller’ list.

So it would seem that while some writers can play football, most footballers should probably stick to the lines on a pitch rather than the lines on a page and leave the writing to the professionals.

Speaking of which, without wishing to step on Iain Dale’s and Jeff Powell’s toes, Manchester based Hammers may be interested to know that the National Football Museum are hosting the Manchester Football Writing Festival in association with Waterstones between 4th – 12th September; which includes an event on 9th September called Bobby Moore – The Man In Full to launch Matt Dickinson’s much anticipated biography of our very own hero. Matt will read from his book and take questions from the audience about Bobby Moore, his life and career. Matt Dickinson is Chief Football Correspondent for The Times. He won Young Sports Writer of the Year (1993) and Sports Journalist of the Year (2000). He is most famous for conducting the interview with England Manager Glenn Hoddle which led to the latter’s resignation.

Talking Point

Sweet FA Support - A Sporting Injustice for Women's Football

When you were small did you fantasise about wearing claret and blue and scoring the winning goal in front of a roaring crowd at Upton Park? So did I.

Whether you only ever played for your school or a local youth side or were talented enough to reach the heady heights of the professional game, I would wager that the majority of you had the opportunity to play football on a marked out pitch with a referee and proper goalposts.

As a girl born in 1965 I could only look on longingly at the boys’ youth teams playing over our local park on a Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning. During the 1970s little girls were simply not expected to want to play organised football so no provision was made for us, at least not where I grew up on the Essex/East London border. So I had to content myself with games in the road or over the park with the boys who lived down my street. I did have one girl friend at school who was as mad about football as I was and I was green with envy because her dad took her to Upton Park every home game to sit in the mysteriously named chicken run – you can’t imagine the images that conjured up in my 9 year old mind! I can vividly remember the day that we discussed how we were going to join one of the newly formed ladies teams that we’d heard of when we reached the age of 16. In the meantime we endeavoured to practise our skills by ourselves in the pouring rain and mud over a small rec near her house, before trailing back to look at her WHU programmes and dream. Her horrified mum took one look at our bedraggled muddy state and promptly threw us both in the shower. As I walked home in clothes two sizes too big for me I vowed that one day I would be a footballer.

As it transpired, 16 came and went and love and life got in the way and I transferred my longing to play the game into supporting my then boyfriend/husband in his footballing career. It’s a decision that I deeply regret and I honestly believe that if I’d had the opportunity to be involved in grass roots football at a young age then I would have naturally progressed into the women’s game. At the time I just accepted that that’s the way things were, football was for boys and I was some kind of anomaly. It was only with the advent of the internet that I learned that I had been the victim of a great sporting injustice.

The women’s game has a long and interesting history and can even be traced back to ancient times. Fast forward to the 1890s and women’s football in England was well developed with a national team structure and was growing in popularity; one north London team reportedly attracted a 10,000 gate to a game at Crouch End before the turn of the century. However, it was the outbreak of war in 1914 which really saw the women’s game come into its own.

Women were drafted in great numbers to the munitions factories to keep the wheels of the war machine turning and they became known as the ‘Munitionettes’. The Government appointed women welfare supervisors to oversee the well-being of these women and they also encouraged the development of sporting activities. One of those activities was football, and the beautiful game became the official sport of the munitions girls. Almost every factory in the UK involved in war work had a ladies football team; but it was at Dick, Kerr & Co Limited in Preston that the most successful team in the history of women’s football was formed. This team of ordinary factory girls quite literally took the country by storm; and on Christmas Day 1917 10,000 spectators came to the home of Preston North End to witness the start of the most phenomenal success story in the history of women’s sport. Dick, Kerr Ladies notched up the first of many famous victories and £600 was raised for the wounded soldiers, a sum today that would be worth over £38,000. What started out as a means to raise money for the war effort proved to be a bigger success than anyone could ever have imagined and it became obvious that women’s football was a real crowd pleaser.

In the early 1920’s the national enthusiasm for Dick, Kerr Ladies (DKL) was on a par with that for the professional men’s game. DKL had earned themselves the reputation of being the premier team in England and the charities they were playing for recognised ‘what a little gold mine these girls were’. By 1921 the popularity of DKL was at its peak. They were the team that everyone wanted to see and they were being booked to play an average of two games a week. Because of their popularity they were even feted as the unofficial England team and they travelled to Europe and North America to play in exhibition matches. When they arrived in Canada to find that their scheduled games would not be allowed, they travelled to the USA to play a number of men’s club teams.

The fact is that during those post war years women’s football was attracting crowds far in excess of many of the men’s games. On Boxing Day 1920 Dick, Kerr Ladies played against St Helen’s in front of 53,000 people at Goodison Park, with thousands more locked outside. That same year the biggest crowd at a men’s match was 37,545 at 1st Division Chelsea, 2nd Division West Ham attracted 20,100, Division 3 South Millwall 16,650, and Division 3 North Stockport 11,050. The remainder of the new Division 3 North and South could only attract crowds of between 2,500 – 9,500 people; and with the Dick, Kerr Ladies regularly attracting crowds in excess of 30,000 it isn’t difficult to see why men felt threatened by the success of the women’s game.

At its inception women’s football was embraced by The FA for the patriotic nature of their games but by now it was offending the middle class patriarchy of The FA’s ruling council and perhaps more importantly, it was stealing the limelight from the men’s game. It all came to a head on 5th December 1921 when The FA banned women’s football and effectively changed the course of the beautiful game forever. The minutes of the meeting read as follows:

“Complaints having been made as to football being played by women, the Council feel impelled to express their strong opinion that the game of football is quite unsuitable for females and ought not to be encouraged.

Complaints have also been made as to the conditions under which some of these matches have been arranged and played, and the appropriation of receipts to other than charitable objects.

The Council are further of the opinion that an excessive proportion of the receipts are absorbed in expenses and an inadequate percentage devoted to charitable objects.

For these reasons the Council request clubs belonging to the association to refuse the use of their grounds for such matches”.

It was as easy as that. The axe had fallen on women’s football and fifty years of prejudice and exclusion were to follow. Some members of the medical profession also supported The FA’s ruling, stating that football was a dangerous pursuit for women and could seriously affect their fertility. It was probably the biggest sporting injustice of the last century.

As a result we are a nation that for generations has been brought up with the belief that football is a man’s game; but only because men wanted it that way in order to keep it for themselves. History does prove it to be otherwise but the glittering legacy of women’s football has been conveniently buried and largely forgotten. If only women’s football had been allowed to prosper and grow at the same pace as their male counterparts, just imagine where it would be today.

Women’s football only come back under the auspices of The FA in 1969 when they lifted the ban on women’s teams becoming members. This meant that they were finally allowed access to affiliated pitches and referees; but still only as amateurs. Inevitably, with the women’s game pushed back into relative infancy there was no female grass roots infrastructure for the likes of my generation in the 1970s; and West Ham Ladies wasn’t founded until 1992, so sadly my childhood dreams of playing in claret and blue were a bubble that had long since burst. For me personally there’s scant consolation in the fact that women’s football is slowly beginning to regain the recognition and popularity that it had already worked so hard to gain a century ago; but at least subsequent generations of young women are back in their rightful place on the pitch.

Ironically, at the time of writing, if you Google ‘history of women’s football’ and click on the link to the FA’s website you are directed to this: Please Keep Off The Grass.

With thanks to Gail Newsham for the majority of the information on Dick, Kerr Ladies.

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